Last month, we wrote about how partners can support during labor and birth, and this month, we are discussing partner support during postpartum. We love for partners to feel empowered in their role. We also acknowledge that this transition is a big one, which means that sometimes folks get caught in overwhelm or freeze. 

This article offers some foundational ideas for partners who want to be supportive and involved during the immediate postpartum period. If you are still pregnant, great; keep reading! It’s especially helpful to work on postpartum planning while you are still pregnant and then adjust as needs shift during postpartum. If you are already postpartum, we are so glad you are here and hope these ideas give some quick relief. 

8 Ways to Support Your Partner in Immediate Postpartum 

1. 1. Take the 5-5-5 rule to heart. If your partner is recovering from birth, their rest and recovery in the first few weeks is essential. Encourage them to give their pelvis rest by laying down as much as possible, especially during the first 5-7 days. 
   2. Connect with your own support system. It’s imperative that you stay connected to the people and supports that strengthen you. Supports can range from therapy, to phone chats with friends, to workouts, to time outside. You, too, have important needs during this big transition! Your own support system and self-care will bolster you so that you can best show up for your partner and new baby. 
   3. Support feeding times. If the birthing person is feeding the baby directly from their body, this means doing things like setting up their pillows in the ideal formation for feeding. Whether your family is body or bottle feeding, ensure that your partner has snacks at hand, as well as a fresh refill in their water bottle. (And do they need their phone charger or a book?) Other ways to support feeding include the following: taking certain feeds during the day, setting up pump parts and/or washing them after a pumping session, bagging and labeling any pumped milk, bringing baby to them, and burping and diapering baby after a feed. 
   4. Propose a sleep shift schedule. Many families end up trying out some form of a sleep schedule, such that each person gets a designated chunk of sleep without the expectation of baby care. This is especially effective if pumped milk or formulas have been introduced. That said, the birthing person may still need to wake to pump, but this is often a quick 10-15 minutes vs. the timing of a full feed, burping, diapering, and soothing baby back to sleep. If you are noticing that none of the adults in the house are getting enough sleep, it may be time to propose a shift schedule and/or the idea of hiring a postpartum doula to support overnight. It’s imperative that both parents are getting as much sleep as possible.
   5. Encourage your partner to take some “me time.” Each adult in the family needs and deserves time to do things that make them feel like themselves. At the beginning, these may be small moments, such as time for a long shower or morning coffee on the porch. Gradually, these may grow to be solo walks, friend dates, parenting groups, and so on. (And, yes, you need to take “me time” too, as we mentioned in #2.)
   6. Take charge of food and food decisions. If you have a MealTrain, be the point person for communications related to dropoffs. If you don’t have a MealTrain, we suggest having a favorites list on your local grocery app with ready-made meals and easy-to-prep snacks that you can easily order as needed. While you may need and want to check in with your partner’s preferences, it is really helpful if you can take on the mental load of noticing if/when the fridge is running low or dinner needs to be ordered.
   7. Be aware of PMADs. Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) encompass a wide range of mental health concerns that can emerge during pregnancy the postpartum period. We suggest that partners become familiar with PMADs, such that they can compassionately notice and name it if a concern arises. If your partner doesn’t have a therapist, you might help them start the process of finding one and accessing other support resources. (See our PMADs blog with links to resources.) Please note that partners can also experience PMADs, so if you are noticing symptoms yourself, please reach out to a mental health professional for support.
   8. Create small moments to check in. Even if it’s 5 minutes before sleep, pausing to check in with one another each day can make a huge difference for both of you! Perhaps you share about a rose and thorn (something good and beautiful and something that is a bit of a hurt or struggle) from the day or maybe you just snuggle. Time together can feel scattered in postpartum, so even brief, intentional time can be meaningful.

ABG is Here for You

Your family’s postpartum experience matters deeply to us at Austin Baby Guru. We are here to support you in planning for and navigating your postpartum experience. Please reach out if you’d like to explore these ideas more deeply in a consultation or to book postpartum care.

*Photo credit: Tim Mossholder on Unsplash