There are lots of concerns and questions about infant sleep, and that’s okay and very normal. One of the things that we are asked about all of the time is: “Will my baby EVER sleep through the night?”
Of course they will, AND it may take a while before this is a reality. Big breaths! Remember that each day with baby is different, and they are growing and changing at a rapid rate. What you are experiencing and feeling challenged by today is temporary.
That said, babies have much shorter sleep cycles than adults, and they naturally do not go into as deep sleep in the early days (which is actually a safety mechanism). There is hope though! Baby Guru teaches all of our clients to use the 5 sleep steps once baby has re-gained their birth weight. This typically happens between 5-14 days.
Preparing for Infant Sleep
These steps will help you to support baby in learning solid sleep habits as they are developmentally able to grasp them. As soon as your pediatrician confirms that baby is ready, let them to sleep as long as they will during the night. We recommend feeding them at least every 4 hours during the day, though, to ensure they are getting enough feeds in each 24-hour period. Now, let’s talk about preparing for sleep, setting the stage if you will.
- Bedtime should be between 6-8 pm each night because babies’ circadian rhythms start earlier than ours. (By the way, taking your baby outside in the morning, middle of the day, and early evening will help them learn their circadian rhythms!)
- Start a simple bedtime routine by about 8 weeks of age. Routines may include steps like:
- Bath or massage
- Book
- White noise
- PJs
- Dim lights
- Feeding
- Diaper change and swaddle
- Bed
Each family will have their own routine– great! Explore what works best for you and your baby, making small adjustments here and there to adapt to baby’s needs. Then, repeat the routine consistently. The routine should be able to be used anywhere and by anyone who is caring for baby.
The 5 Infant Sleep Steps
Once baby is asleep for the night, we recommend utilizing the 5 sleep steps each time baby wakes up and needs assistance. While you follow the steps, be boring (vs. engaging). Keep the lights dim and the white noise on. This is not play or chat time. Below are the steps to follow for each wake up. You may go through all 5 steps in a wake up, or it may just take a few. Stop at whichever step you are on when baby has settled.
- Give it a bit of time. Count to at least 30 seconds for a newborn and up to 5 or 10 min for a baby who is ~6 months before responding. Sometimes babies are just “talking” in their sleep and will resettle on their own. Instead of focusing explicitly on the amount of time, notice how baby sounds and whether they sound distressed.
- Try to settle them in bed. Things to try include: patting their butt, rubbing their back, jiggling their tummy, or light pressure on their torso.
- Pick them up and soothe them in your arms.
- Nurse or feed them if baby gets more upset or shows hunger cues.
- Put baby down when they are “drowsy.” Aim for getting them back into bed when they are sleepy but partly awake if possible. This can take practice, so give it time. Stay consistent and patient. Be sure you are breathing and keeping yourself as relaxed as possible through the process.
If a baby is hungry or really upset, you may go through these steps in just a few minutes. It is just to help us remember to slow down and give baby time to try to resettle on their own as they develop the ability to do so. Additionally, you may repeat these steps a few times throughout the night. Again, consistency is helpful.
If you are partnered or are working with a postpartum doula, be sure you all discuss the steps together and are on the same page about the routines. Gradually, you will lengthen the time you give for each step, helping baby learn to soothe and regulate themselves with your guidance and support. Yes, baby will have “regressions”; these are actually developmental leaps, which can be a helpful reframe. When these growth spurts happen, stay consistent, calm, and work with baby as a team.
Aiming for 12 Hours of Infant Sleep
For a baby, the overall sleep time should be about 12 hours total overnight. No, they will not actually sleep 12 hours solid for a while. When they wake closest to the 12 hour mark, this is when you can be cheerful and interactive with baby. Turn on the light, turn off the white noise, get them dressed, and talk to your sweet baby. These routines help baby learn day from night.
Baby Guru is Here for You
We are here to support your family and help you navigate the complexities of baby sleep. Reach out about postpartum support in Austin or birth and postpartum support in Asheville!
*Photo credit: Canva
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