This blog was originally published on 11/2/21. We have edited and updated this piece and are excited to share some ideas for bringing some ease into your holiday season.

As the winter holidays approach, you may find yourself thinking (or stressing) about how to navigate your needs as a pregnant person or with a new baby, especially when it comes to family. We are here to validate your feelings and needs and to normalize the fact that this can be exciting, difficult, and everything in between! Additionally, we are happy to share some considerations for making these decisions as easy as possible.

Check in with Yourself

First, we invite you to pause and breathe and check in with yourself: How are you? Really… How are you? Is there anything that would make you 5 or 10% more comfortable right now? Let this be an invitation to tend to yourself in some small way.

This practice of checking in with yourself will help you make decisions from a place of integrity with yourself and your capacity. This practice can also be helpful if you decide to leave the house to attend an event. For example, it may help you recognize when it’s time for you to leave and get back to your own home and bed.

Considerations for Holiday Decision-Making

 The holidays can certainly be a time that is asking more of you. Whether you are pregnant or postpartum, you may notice that you need or want to be doing less, nesting more, and protecting your family’s time and space. This is what we hear about so often– folks who are overly-exhausted because they can’t do it all and need more downtime.

These are 4 practical tools that can help you get clear on family decisions for the upcoming holidays:

1. Consider how you YOU and your family want and need to spend time this season. Let yourself think outside of the box. Some questions to consider include: Are there new holiday traditions you want to make? Old traditions you want to keep? How much time do you want to spend with extended family? How much time do you want to reserve for being home with baby or your immediate family? Do you want visitors? And so on. Do your best to answer these questions honestly and without worrying about others’ expectations.
2. Scale back (maybe even wayyyy back) from previous years. If we are going to give any piece of general advice, it’s this: Make a commitment to do less than past holidays. Be careful and deliberate with your “yeses,” and give yourself grace if you need to change a “yes” to a “no.” Planning to do less is an act of self-compassion and care. You can do it!
3. Get clear on germ and virus boundaries. This could mean having a risk tolerance conversation with folks you may be seeing or inviting into your space. It could also mean considering how many people or which places feel safe for your family. Check out our blog 6 Easy Ways To Protect Your Baby’s Health This Winter for additional support on this topic.
4. Think through potential travel. Travel includes extended car rides, plane rides, and so on. If you are thinking about traveling, we encourage you to give yourself extra time to navigate logistics, pack plenty of snacks, and ensure you can have down time after arrival. This blog offers tips for folks who are pregnant and traveling.

Communicating Your Holiday Needs with Family

As you get clear on your needs and wishes for the holidays, you’ll likely need to respond to invitations and requests. People, including you- may be disappointed by the boundaries you set, and that’s okay! If you know that quiet time at home is just what you and your family need this holiday season, this is real and valid.

It can be helpful to communicate using “I statements,” taking ownership of the choices you are making. For example, “I need to stay close to my bed to ensure my rest and recovery. We are so sorry to miss!” Also, sometimes less is more. Rather than giving lots of context or “excuses” for your no, you might consider simply naming your limit, “We are unable to attend this year.” If it feels right to you, you might include an alternative plan or idea such as “We can come for dessert!” or “We are open to you stopping by on the way to the party for a quick porch visit.”

We are Here for You

The transition into parenthood or into life with another child is significant. Thus, it may feel difficult trying to decide what feels right to you this holiday season. Once you decide, it may feel complicated trying to implement the decisions. 

We are here to support you in planning for and navigating your postpartum experience. Please reach out if you’d like to explore these ideas more deeply in a consultation or to book postpartum care.

*Photo credit: Jessica Rockowitz on Unsplash