As the winter holidays approach, you may find yourself thinking (or… stressing) about how to navigate your needs with a new baby, especially when it comes to family.

We are here to validate your feelings and needs and to normalize the fact that this can be difficult! Additionally, we are happy to share some considerations for making these decisions as easy as possible.

Notice and Name How You Are

First, we invite you to pause and breathe and consider: How are you? Really… How are you?

Whether you are pregnant or postpartum, you may notice that you need or want to be doing less, nesting more, and protecting your family’s time and space. Take the time to notice how you are really doing; this will support you in exploring what your capacity and desires are. We are here to validate whatever is coming up for you!

Note: It doesn’t matter how many weeks or months postpartum you are; if you resonate with the “postpartum period” as a concept and feel like you are in it, you are. And this is an opportunity to trust yourself about your needs.

Considerations for Holiday Decision-Making

After you’ve named what you are feeling, you may want to consider some practical tools that can help you get clear on decisions.

1. Let yourself brainstorm. Some questions to consider include: Are there new holiday traditions you want to make? Old traditions you want to keep? How much time do you want to spend with extended family? How much time do you want to reserve for being home with baby? Do you want visitors? And so on. 
2. Scale back (maybe even wayyyy back) from previous years. If we are going to give any piece of general advice, it’s this: Make a commitment to do less than past holidays. Be careful and deliberate with your “yeses,” and give yourself grace if you need to change a “yes” to a “no.”
3. Get clear on germ and virus boundaries. This could mean having a risk tolerance conversation with folks you may be seeing or inviting into your space. It could also mean exploring how many people and places feel safe for your family. Check out our blog 6 Easy Ways To Protect Your Baby’s Health This Winter for additional support on this topic.
4. Think through potential travel. Travel includes extended car rides, plane rides, and so on. If you are thinking about traveling, we encourage you to give yourself extra time to navigate logistics. This blog offers tips for folks who are pregnant and traveling.

Communicating Your Holiday Needs with Family

As you get clear on your needs and wishes for the holidays, you’ll likely need to respond to invitations and requests. People– including you– may be disappointed by the boundaries you set, and that’s okay! If you know that quiet time at home is just what you and your family need this holiday season, this is real and valid.

It can be helpful to communicate using “I statements,” taking ownership of the choices you are making. Also, sometimes less is more. Rather than giving lots of context or “excuses” for your no, you might consider simply naming your limit, “We are unable to attend this year.” If it feels right to you, you might include an alternative plan or idea such as “We can come for dessert!” or “We are open to you stopping by on the way to the party for a quick visit.”

We are Here for You

The transition into parenthood or into life with another child is significant. Thus, it may feel difficult trying to decide what feels right to you this holiday season. Once you decide, it may feel complicated trying to implement the decisions. 

We are here to support you in planning for and navigating your postpartum experience. Please reach out if you’d like to explore these ideas more deeply in a consultation or to book postpartum care.

*Photo credit: Jessica Rockowitz on Unsplash