As postpartum doulas, we not only support the birthing person and the growing family in adjusting to life with their newborn, but also in navigating and developing their identity as parents.

The internet is a great tool! It’s how we are able to reach you and connect with you in this conversation, afterall. AND it can be a source of information overload and overwhelm. Can you relate?!

As you navigate your transition into parenthood, we’d like to offer some suggestions for getting clear on what YOU want and need as parents. These are things you can consider at any point in your parenting journey– before conception or adoption, during pregnancy, once baby has arrived.

How to Get Clear on Your Wants and Needs as Parents

1. Maintain regular containers for processing. Having predictable and consistent spaces for processing and exploring your needs and desires is instrumental. This could be a weekly therapy session, a support group, a family meeting, a standing FaceTime date with a friend, regular journaling, and so on.
2. Trust your inner knowing. As much as you can, make an effort to get quiet, to spend time with yourself, and listen to your gut/heart/intuition/whatever else you may call your inner knowing. This can be really hard to do when you are in a state of overwhelm, so it’s crucial that you remain compassionate and patient with yourself. It can take time to develop this practice, especially when you are going through a big life transition.
3. Limit the amount of media you consume. Once again, there’s so much info available 24/7. Create limits for yourself. Start to recognize the signs of information overload so that you can invite yourself to put your devices or books down. Also, as you scroll remember that people’s feeds are curated in particular ways; you are only seeing part of the picture. The way other people are living or parenting may simply not align with your wishes, desires, or values, and that’s okay! Be mindful in who and what you follow.
4. Set boundaries with loved ones. People love to give advice, and many times you don’t want or need advice. We recommend starting conversations by letting your loved ones know your needs upfront. For example, “I just need to get some stuff off my chest today, and I’d love someone to listen.” or “I need some space to problem-solve this, are you available to help?” Additionally, when (not if) someone is rattling off advice that you don’t have space for, you might say something like, “Thanks for caring for me. Right now, I really don’t have the energy to process new suggestions.” 
5. Share space with like-minded folks. It’s really important to spend time with people and other parents whose values align with, support, and uplift your own. (This is not the same thing as living in an echo chamber.)

We Are Here for You

Becoming parents for the first time or adjusting life with another child is significant. We know that you are doing your best to navigate this time! ABG is here to support you in planning for and navigating information overload and getting clear on your preferences as parents. Please reach out if you’d like to explore these ideas more deeply in a consultation or to book postpartum care.

 

*Photo credit: Julian Hochgesang on Unsplash