One thing about babies is that they are constantly growing and changing! This demands vast amounts of flexibility from parents and caregivers. One thing we have observed frequently with families we support is that it’s (almost) always worth trying something more than once. Staying flexible benefits parents and babies!

If you’re trying something with your baby and it’s just not working, that’s okay! Whether it’s a specific pacifier, a particular bedtime routine, a toy, an outing that isn’t working, we often recommend trying again (and sometimes several times). This flexible mindset will serve you, your baby, and the relationship! Keep reading for some of our favorite ways to cultivate flexibility as you navigate parenthood.

Ways to Practice Flexibility in Early Parenthood

1. If you feel stuck, notice the feeling, name it, and take a pause. Sometimes when things are hard, we try to force it or push through. If it’s something you don’t have to do in this exact way at this exact time, consider pausing to gather yourself and reset. Taking a break can be extremely helpful, especially in the newborn days where it feels like you are doing everything on repeat– diaper change, feeding, sleeping, repeat. 
2. Use a sensory shift to change the mood. If you notice that you or baby are feeling frustrated, consider a sensory shift. A few of our favorite ideas are going outside and using water– a bath, a sprinkler, a water table, etc. Instead of staying stuck, change the energy entirely before you decide whether it’s the right time to keep trying.
3. Put it away for a period of time. The nature of the item/task may help you get a sense of how long you should let it rest before trying again. For a few examples: A baby carrier, can be hung up and pulled out again next week or month when baby is a bit bigger or stronger. Gradually extending baby’s wake window can happen tomorrow when your schedule feels more flexible. If baby didn’t like broccoli the first (second, third, or fourth times), you can try again next week. 
4. Don’t give/throw it away yet! While there are times that a certain item just doesn’t work for you or your family, many times it’s worth keeping it around a little longer and trying on a different day, after baby gains some new skills, or after your body heals more.
5. Ask for help. Another parent or your doula may be able to offer different ideas or insight for how a specific thing/task may work differently for you and your baby. 
6. Do your best not to personalize challenges. During a time of big transition, it can be so easy to turn inwards and think harsh things about ourselves. “I am a failure because my baby…” When you notice yourself telling these kinds of stories, it can be helpful to share about them with a trusted person– a partner, doula, therapist, or friend. Do your best to separate your worth from the challenge you and your family are facing. 
7. Change the definition of success. What changes when you focus on connecting with baby (or yourself or your partner)? When things aren’t working out as we want or expect them to, it can be beneficial to view success through the lens of connection. Maybe baby is struggling with taking a bottle, and this may feel like a “failure.” However, if you are able to talk kindly and lovingly to baby (and yourself), then in many ways, the experience can be a huge success. (Note: We are not fans of toxic positivity, BUT we do think that shifting the focus to connection can be a powerful tool for many parents in a time that can feel very high stakes and very “do-do-do.”.)
8. Make peace with the parts of this experience that you cannot be flexible with. If baby is typically upset in the car seat, for instance, it will be important for you to work towards accepting this experience as it is for now. If a baby is in a car, they must be in a car seat. This one just isn’t flexible. 

Baby Guru is Here for You

We are here to support your family and help you navigate the joys and challenges of early parenthood. Reach out about postpartum support in Austin or birth and postpartum support in Asheville!

* Photo credit:  Nappy on Unsplash