Navigating parenthood is big, big work. If you’re in it, you know. 

New parents, especially in the first few years of life, find themselves reflecting on the ways they were parented (or not) and working to process the impacts. Simultaneously, they are trying to create space to do things in their own way. Not to mention, many times, new parents are literally dealing with advice and commentary from parents or family members, and it can get quite overwhelming to tune in to what they want and need most.

We’d like to bring some of our ABG wisdom to the table and offer new parents some strategies and considerations for working through the complexities of this chapter of life.

First Things First

First things first, we want to acknowledge the feelings and thoughts that may already be coming to the surface. Your feelings are real and valid, and it can be helpful to try to identity the feelings that come up when you think about the work of parenting. Are you excited? Overwhelmed? Frustrated? Tender? Heartbroken? Anxious? We love this feelings inventory that can help you find clarity as you sit with your feelings. 

6 Ways to Navigate the Complexities of Early Parenthood

1. Remind yourself that you and your family are allowed to do things your own way. Sometimes using a motto or mantra can help you affirm yourself and trust your process. Find a simple phrase that you can repeat or keep it on a post-it where you’ll see it often. Here’s a few ideas: “We are building our family in the way that suits us.” “Our family is unique and special.” “I love the ways our family is growing.”
2. Find community. We are not meant to parent in isolation. Connect with others who have children of a similar age, whether they are local or virtual. Take time to build or refresh your support system, such that you have folks you can turn to with questions, thoughts, reflections, and requests for resources. Check out our list of Austin-based parenting groups. 
3. If you have a partner, explore parenting together. Take classes, read books, go to therapy, work with a coach, and/or have family meetings. Choose the medium that works for you, but choose something. Exploring parenthood together can help you understand one another AND work towards being on the same page if you tend towards different styles. (By the way, here’s one of the books we love, and they have a workbook too!) 
4. If you are solo parenting, map out your support system. While we want all clients and new parents to have robust support systems, we specifically encourage single parents to map out the folks they can bounce ideas off of. Because as we said in #1, we aren’t meant to do this in isolation. Keep trusted folks close. 
5. Consider the boundaries you want to hold with your own parents or family of origin. You’re allowed to protect your energy and also ask your family to respect the ways you want to parent, even if it’s different than how they did/do/would. We suggest having a few kind, go-to phrases to use as needed. A few ideas to start with: “I’m working on listening to my intuition, but I will be sure to ask for suggestions when I need it.” “I appreciate your insights, and we are working on developing our own family culture and need some space to do that.”
6. Talk to a mental health professional. If big stuff or trauma is coming up from your own childhood, we always suggest processing with a mental health professional. It can be especially helpful to work with someone who specializes in perinatal health and/or early parenting. Your own childhood and the ways you were parented have an impact on how you’re showing up now, and carving out the space to dig into it, can be healing.

ABG is Here for You

We want to support you as you prepare for and navigate early parenthood. We are here to offer doula support, classes, and referrals. We invite you to reach out! 

 

*Photo credit: Christopher Luther on Unsplash