Plan to Do Less
Our society has done a good job of convincing expectant parents that they can do it all. New parents ARE amazing and incredible people, AND this is simply too much pressure, highly unsustainable, and, quite frankly, unrealistic.
When we try to do it all, things get dropped in the process. And you know what? That is okay!
These are our biggest reminders for postpartum:
- You are allowed to do less.
- Your rest is valid, worthy, and necessary.
- It’s important to ask for help!
- You can delegate and tap into resources. (This can all be included in your postpartum plan.)
- Your to-do list doesn’t run your life.
Plus, babies are so forgiving that they will adore you even if the laundry doesn’t get done or the bedroom is cluttered. 🙂
How To Get The Postpartum Help You Need
With these mindsets and reminders, we also want to share some practical and actionable ways that you can set yourself up for greater ease in your postpartum period.
Schedule Postpartum Help and Support
It will be no surprise that we recommend hiring a postpartum doula if this is accessible to you. Your doula can help a bit around the house, support you in learning ALL the baby stuff, and make sure that you are taking the time needed to recover and adjust to new parenting yourself. Check out our blog with 8 steps to finding the best doula for you.
In the case that you prefer to have a friend or family member offering in-home postpartum support, make a plan with this person. Get clear on what they are able to provide, and ensure that you are comfortable with the plan.
If you can’t afford this care on your own, consider making it a baby shower item that folks can contribute to, look for local community-supported doula programs like PPHA here in Austin, TX, and/or schedule virtual consultations.
Get Help with the Household Tasks
Make a list of all the household things that need to be done– literally EVERYTHING, and figure out who can help and how. Assess what needs to be done daily/weekly/monthly. The list might include things like: walk the dog, water the plants, wash the dishes, clean the kitchen, do the laundry, clean the bathrooms, vacuum or sweep, etc. Don’t worry, no one has to ever see THIS list!
Now, break down those each of these jobs into simple 2-5 minute tasks. Pick 10-20 small tasks to do each day. For example, laundry is often a BIG job, especially with newborn laundry. However, switching the clothes from the washer to the dryer takes only 90 seconds or so. If you can let go of how your towels are folded, that is quick too! Again, doing less may mean that life is a little messier than it used to be– a little more human.
We recommend that you print the list, double spaced, bullet-pointed, and on one sheet of paper. Post it on a wall or the fridge where you, your partner, if relevant, and any other support people can find it. Part of our socialization to “do it all,” includes being a great host when we have company over.
During postpartum, it might help to reframe this. Your “company” is there to love on and support YOU. You are busy caring for your healing body, your growing baby, and adapting to life with your growing family. Because your list is clear and visible, some of the weight of asking people what to do will be lifted.
When a guest asks “What can we do?” just point to the list and say “Anything on that list would be amazing.” This strategy will allow your loved ones to pick what feels ok to them, AND you get help with the things on your list.
COVID-19 Considerations
If you are reading this article during COVID-19, you may have different boundaries related to your risk tolerance. That is okay! You and your family get to decide what feels most safe and appropriate to you.
We are Here for You
Your postpartum experience matters deeply to us at Austin Baby Guru. Whatever you are experiencing, feeling, and thinking as your plan for or experience postpartum is valid. All you have to take is one step after another, and through it all, you are not alone. We invite you to reach out if you need help getting started.
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